Birthdays have always been kinda weird for me. In one part because I want to make a big deal of mine and another part because I want someone else to make a big deal of mine, neither of which happens. The number of texts and social media acknowledgements has gone down over the years. My grandparents even didn't call till the day had passed. My dad and my sister always try to make it nice and that always means so much.
The truth is also that people are busy, we lose touch and if you want people to pay attention to you, you have to sell yourself. I spend my days selling myself as a singer, and actress and a writer. I simply choose not to expand additional energy to sell myself as a friend. Don't get me wrong. I show up to as many baby showers, marriage events and bbqs as I can. I just don't feel comforable saying, "hey, can you interrupt your very busy life full of kids and work and responsibilities to have dinner with me and show me that you value the fact that I'm still alive?" It was crazy typing it too. But that's sort of the idea. We want to share our lives with the people we love, which is why all of these milestones of life involve a gathering.
On the other side of that, wouldn't it be nice for someone to say, "hey, your birthday is coming up. what are you doing? i'd love to celebrate you."
Ramble ramble ramble. As always, the universe brings lessons and reminds me to ask for the things I want and need. No shade. All love.